Politics· States Newsroom
Behold the blasphemy of Pete Hegseth. The American apocalypse is nigh.
States Newsroom · October 18, 2026

Pete, consider the cross. Hear me out. You’ve made tremendous progress in a short time — you were confirmed as secretary of havoc less than two years ago — and already you have shown such promise that it has garnered the attention of my boss down below. He is concerned, however, that you’re just not thinking big…
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