The New Stuff

We’ve Heard Of Sex Addiction. But Sex Allergy?


Has the thought of sex ever made you sick? It just might if you were allergic to orgasms? “Oh my God!” And imagine every time you said that to exclaim ecstasy, you were also describing a feeling of great discomfort. Well, that’s the story with one unfortunate 50-year old married man who claims he’s been plagued with this evil joke since he was 19! Damn… talk about an ailment hitting a guy at the zenith of hormonal rage where a brisk wind is enough to make him “rise” to the occasion.

According to Guysim.com, “Dutch researchers have found that a random outbreak of flulike symptoms could be the result of an allergy to orgasms, according to a new study.” And get this, Utrecht University in the Netherlands found that men suffering from the condition – I believe medically are referred to as ‘anti-squirts’ – “can suffer from symptoms including a fever, runny nose, burning eyes, and extreme fatigue for up to a week.”

Researchers believe, “the symptoms stem from the body coming into contact with its own semen, causing an unexpected allergic reaction.” Wow! Talk about not liking yourself. This was exactly the case regarding that 50-year old man I mentioned. MSNBC, who profiled this orgasmic victim, said, “[he] would experience fever, weakness, exhaustion, loss of initiative, headache, disordered speech, irritability, forgetfulness, and frightening dreams, not to mention swollen lips and throat.”

According to the man’s wife, she would go so far as to pencil in intercourse on Fridays so her husband had a couple days to recover before Monday morning. Boy… I guess there is no sneaking away to the bathroom with Linda in accounting. “What in the hell happened to you Tom? You get mugged at lunch?” “No… just a quickie, boss.”

MSNBC went on to report that this man’s case was just published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in which Dutch doctors describe what they call Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome, or POIS. But luckily – and I use that word very loosely here – one sexual psychopharmacology expert who’s part of the group at the University who conducted the study believes that hyposensitization therapy (which is the introduction of the allergen in gradually larger amounts over time) can eventually build up resistance that in time may nullify the adverse effects.

So, let me jump ahead and connect the dots if I may. In other words, we’re going to take these guys who think they have a sick weird disorder because the simple masculine act of having an orgasm is taking them down like an elephant tranquilizer… no doubt giving them a nice healthy positive self image I’m sure… and tell them that, in theory, the cure is to sit them in the middle of a circle-jerk adding one more dude each week? Yeah… that ought to do the trick.

Well, I guess every story has the potential for a “happy ending.”

(Image from TheSun)

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