The New Stuff

Vegas Heart Attack Grill Claims Second Victim!


Talk about truth in advertising! Not something you see used so ostentatiously nowadays. But not being honest is the one thing the aptly named Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas will never have to defend. This exorbitant calorie consuming joint has claimed it’s second victim in the span of only two months!

PR Web says the restaurant actually has a warning sign hung at the entrance that reads: “This Establishment is Bad for Your Health." Why oh why would one see a warning like that – admittedly bordering on comical – and still say, “Sure… Let me see a menu!”? For those of you that wouldn’t, here are some of the items you’d find listed. If the “Triple” won’t fill you up, the “Quadruple Bypass Burger,” and lard-cooked “Flatliner French Fries” are sure to do the trick. And by trick, I mean you’ll need a magician to reverse the damage to your arteries.

And get this! “The quadruple bypass burger has even been named by the Guinness Book of World Records as the most caloric sandwich in the world, coming in at 10,000 calories for the 4-patty burger topped with layers of cheese and bacon.”

Reuters reported that, “on Saturday evening, a female diner in her 40s collapsed during her meal at the Heart Attack Grill. The customer was reportedly eating a “Double Bypass Burger,” smoking cigarettes, and drinking an alcoholic beverage.” Listen people, the rest of the world already thinks Americans are fat and dumb. Must we prove it? I mean come one… It’s pretty obvious this nation has given the middle finger to fixing the obesity epidemic, but are we now going to scoff at the intelligence rating as well?

Did you know, “The Heart Attack Grill is apparently also known for treating customers who weigh more than 350 to a free meal?” This is nothing less than crapulous disgust for people with a death wish. Not to sound morbid, but if your life is so piss poor that you are willing to commit digestion suicide, there are much faster ways to kill yourself and still look good in the casket. Like they say, there’s nothing wrong with being a hot corpse.

As far as I’m concerned, people can do whatever they want and are free to make any choice when it comes to what goes in their bodies. But, the moment a child is brought into this place, protective services ought to be contacted immediately.

I suppose nothing is off limits anymore. There was a time where people would be ashamed to glom an inordinate amount of food in public. So now that letting it all hang out is the new motto, I look forward to the grand opening of the owner’s newest vision, The Cocaine Café.

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