The New Stuff

The Worst Movie Of The Year May Have Arrived


Every once in a while, a film comes a long with the merits to be a game changer. Maybe its a phenomenal cast, or a great script. Sometimes however, its merits ride on one ironic fact: it is, in fact, a terrible film. So terrible, that it demands to be seen.

Gigli had its run years ago, and of course The Room has certainly had its fun. This years contender, though, comes to us from Hungary. Weighing in with a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, The Nutcracker 3D is being considered by many to be this years biggest stinker.

The film, which is a fairly traditional take on the classic holiday tale, stars Elle Fanning and features Nathan Lane. Sadly, though, the film drops the dance sequences (the ballet The Nutcracker is considered the most famous version of the story), and apparently adds lyrics to Tchaikovsky's famous music. In fact, the film cuts the entirety of "The Land of the Sweets," including famous dances and songs like "The Sugar Plum Fairy". Not only that, but the film seems to be tonally confused, as it infuses the children's story with strangely intense imagery of dolls burning in the street as part of a larger Holocaust allegory.

Because nothing says, "Christmastime is here!" quite like the Holocaust.

The technical side has little merit as well. The movie was filmed in Hungary in 2010. According to the critics, the 3D was sloppily added in as a marketing effect, and the film looks cheap (Roger Ebert described it as "dingy") and poorly produced. Here are a few other gems from the reviewer's pool:

"Is this movie a tax shelter? Is there some "The Producers"-like scheme to open and close in a week and make off with the unused three-quarters of the budget? Amid the laborious CGI chases in muzzy 3-D, I glanced at my 8-year-old daughter, who put her hand on my arm and said, "It's okay, Daddy. I'm not mad at you for taking me to this." - David Edelstein, New York

The evil rodents who take over the city in a bit of 9/11-evoking terror are nothing less than Ratzis--they even operate an extermination camp for children's toys, complete with crematoria. Konchalovsky not only anticipated "Toy Story 3"'s dump truck to hell sequence, he exceeded it. In one fantastic bit of business, Turturro (or his avatar) dances an exultant flamenco amid toys heaped in the street like bundles of confiscated clothing. The wildest thing about this movie is its faith that what kids (and parents) really want for Christmas is a "Nutcracker" version of the Final Solution." - J. Hoberman, The Village Voice

(credit to IFC for compiling the quotes and original story)

Normally I try and support only films that I think are worthwhile, but with Holiday stress coming up, I could use a good laugh.

Recently Published

clintonthumb-0acc18b8cef5800bae52869a61567e4f72aac299
»

Hillary Clinton stands her ground in response to harsh Trump tweets

Hillary Clinton is firing back at Donald Trump after his harsh ...

4b9e80d924634cd5a927d8c1f25fe023-066834259ec86ab6c5d14f3b5a59406b89b90ad7
»

Solange Knowles' new album is a meditative exploration on being black in America

Just hours before Solange Knowles’ album A Seat At The Table ...

Untitled-2-bdb854e14b5fddba71b26eafe49310f9ce14df02
»

18 selfie expressions we've all made at the office

Your place of work is a mysterious realm: It can make you experience ...

no-image
»

Sweden's rope skipping championship routine is a total delight

[embedded content] For those who have never seen footage from the ...

httpsd2mhye01h4nj2n.cloudfront.netmediaZgkyMDE1LzAz.97720-3c50c04e2e042c3774cdfeb7e206c8d4161357cd
»

So, sheet masks for your boobs are a thing

Relaxing with a nice, 15-minute sheet mask feels so good, we've ...

no-image
»

The cinematic art behind the 'Mission: Impossible' vault heist

[embedded content] It wasn’t until well into Tom ...

SG_Photo_2016-20bb90d4b0bbf22a7374d290293c18636d6f570f
»

Why IBM Watson is interested in Twitter data and supporting developers

IBM Watson can do much more than answer questions on Jeopardy. ...

httpsd2mhye01h4nj2n.cloudfront.netmediaZgkyMDE1LzA2.9c639-6b0dbbefa85a1f96243f68fa352b2db67630b851
»

This 'Stranger Things' themed club night is taking Britain by storm

LONDON — If you were one of the many people who watched ...

theweekndfalsealarm-f6419fcb4dc9dd7828a9fd00680cb445193ff3e4
»

The Weeknd drops frenetic new single 'False Alarm'

If you had anything at all to do with Beyoncé's Lemonade, ...