The Worst Movie Of The Year May Have Arrived
Every once in a while, a film comes a long with the merits to be a game changer. Maybe its a phenomenal cast, or a great script. Sometimes however, its merits ride on one ironic fact: it is, in fact, a terrible film. So terrible, that it demands to be seen.
Gigli had its run years ago, and of course The Room has certainly had its fun. This years contender, though, comes to us from Hungary. Weighing in with a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, The Nutcracker 3D is being considered by many to be this years biggest stinker.
The film, which is a fairly traditional take on the classic holiday tale, stars Elle Fanning and features Nathan Lane. Sadly, though, the film drops the dance sequences (the ballet The Nutcracker is considered the most famous version of the story), and apparently adds lyrics to Tchaikovsky's famous music. In fact, the film cuts the entirety of "The Land of the Sweets," including famous dances and songs like "The Sugar Plum Fairy". Not only that, but the film seems to be tonally confused, as it infuses the children's story with strangely intense imagery of dolls burning in the street as part of a larger Holocaust allegory.
Because nothing says, "Christmastime is here!" quite like the Holocaust.
The technical side has little merit as well. The movie was filmed in Hungary in 2010. According to the critics, the 3D was sloppily added in as a marketing effect, and the film looks cheap (Roger Ebert described it as "dingy") and poorly produced. Here are a few other gems from the reviewer's pool:
"Is this movie a tax shelter? Is there some "The Producers"-like scheme to open and close in a week and make off with the unused three-quarters of the budget? Amid the laborious CGI chases in muzzy 3-D, I glanced at my 8-year-old daughter, who put her hand on my arm and said, "It's okay, Daddy. I'm not mad at you for taking me to this." - David Edelstein, New York
The evil rodents who take over the city in a bit of 9/11-evoking terror are nothing less than Ratzis--they even operate an extermination camp for children's toys, complete with crematoria. Konchalovsky not only anticipated "Toy Story 3"'s dump truck to hell sequence, he exceeded it. In one fantastic bit of business, Turturro (or his avatar) dances an exultant flamenco amid toys heaped in the street like bundles of confiscated clothing. The wildest thing about this movie is its faith that what kids (and parents) really want for Christmas is a "Nutcracker" version of the Final Solution." - J. Hoberman, The Village Voice
(credit to IFC for compiling the quotes and original story)
Normally I try and support only films that I think are worthwhile, but with Holiday stress coming up, I could use a good laugh.