The New Stuff

Sweet Tooth Kidnapper: $10,000 In Cupcakes Or The Bear Gets It!


Wripped from the headlines: Well... the headlines of your average Scooby-Doo detective premiss. Zoiks! Never the less, still a traumatizing experience for a little one who got their first taste of thievery and ransom at the tender age of two!

On May 9, little Donovan accidentally dropped his special stuffed animal bear in the PS 29 schoolyard which is located in the neighborhood of Cobble Hill in the New York borough of Brooklyn. As special as that bear may have been... “He dropped Mr. Bear, and I didn’t notice until that evening,” said his mother in a statement made to the local community Brooklyn Paper.

Here's where the story takes – for lack of a better term – a ridiculously comical turn that makes you wonder if there is anyone left in the world who's actually stable. After weeks of sleepless nights, searching, and posting LOST signs in the park and surrounding area, they received a reply in the form of an ultimatum. The response read as follows:
“We have the blanket. Nothing will happen to it if we get $10,000 of gluten-free cupcakes delivered to this park. I’ll be dressed as a pregnant woman with a baby in a stroller. My accomplice will be wearing a T-shirt, baseball cap, cargo shorts and mandrals. We’ll be obsessing over our toddler. Come alone or this blanket (and bear) goes into the washer. No gentle cycle!”

I guess this is just one more tale that can be filed under Gotham's strangest unsolved mysteries. I'd call it a crime... but given the proximity to the rapes and muggings in the area, if we're worried about anybody getting the stuffing ripped out of them and “taken to the cleaners” – it best be a human. Sorry little guy.

The bad news? Well, as of now, Mr. Bear is still missing. The good news? Luckily this is expensive NYC. I'm pretty sure $10,000 worth of cupcakes gets you a baker's dozen over at Magnolia Bakery on Bleeker.

(Images from The Brooklyn Paper)

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