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Spanish Priest Demands Anal Probe to Prove his Heterosexuality


FUENLABRADA, Spain –“Dark side of the moon” -- A priest from Spain who was forced to resign after a photo surfaced showing him shirtless with his arm around a young Cuban seminarian says he is not gay and wants church officials to inspect his anus to prove it.

Father Andres Garcia Torres was forced to resign from his Fuenlabrada parish and undergo counseling to cleanse him of his homosexual tendencies, according to online reports.

Torres says that the photo is a completely innocent picture of two friends and says that the man’s mother has not stopped crying since the story broke.

However, the local bishop says otherwise, including accusations that Torres posted the photo of himself on a gay dating website. The bishop has ordered the priest to be tested for HIV and undergo psychological treatment.

Nevertheless, Father Torres says he is not gay and was not having a relationship with the young man in the photo and to prove it, he wants church hierarchy to inspect his anus.

"Let them measure my anus and see if it is dilated," he announced.

So far, there has been no word from the Vatican with relation to the anal inspection. As farfetched as it may seem, there is no scientific way to determine a person’s sexual prowess by looking at their anus.

Perhaps Father Torres should consider that some gay men don’t enjoy anal sex and some straight men do enjoy having anal sex with their female partners.

In a side note, I find it amazing that the Catholic Church continues to protect known pedophiles among its ranks by reassigning busted priests to new parishes without the benefit of informing its congregation, but terminates a priest suspected of being gay.

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