The New Stuff

NYC Bans Drunk Puppy Purchases: I'll Drink To That

“Aren't they cute?” “Awe... look at this one.” “Oh that one winked at me!” (P.S. We all think a dog has winked at us before. Maybe even your own. The truth is, there are two scientific reasons behind why a dog may wink – either one being unintentional: No fingers, so they are scratching an itch. Or B, they forgot to close the other eye!) But I digress... These are just some of the childlike statements you're bound to hear ringing through pet stores worldwide. Now just imagine how cute they'd look (or how much they winked at you) if you were drunk off your ass.

That's just what a couple pet stores in New York City are sick of dealing with. Therefore, they have executed a new policy that people who are conspicuously drunk may not purchase a puppy. Now if we could only get gun store owners on board with this concept.

The Associated Press ran a story about one pet shop in particular located in a neighborhood on Manhattan's lower west side. “Workers at Le Petite Puppy in Greenwich Village say customers tend to stumble in after happy hour and purchase a dog without thinking. Drunken customers now are forbidden to even hold the puppies, because they can drop them.” Besides, who wants little Fido to associate the smell of their new mommy with a Vodka Stinger? Dana Rich, the owner of said pet shop, told WINS-AM that “she instructs people who have clearly been drinking to come back the next day.”

Another New York City based pet boutique, CitiPups, is also telling booze lovers who try to buy a four legged furry friend to 'take a walk.' They tell the staggering customers to come back tomorrow if they are serious. In fact, this is another shop that has taken it one step further like the other one banning drunks from even holding the puppies to prevent accidental drops. When it's a martini, you just order a new one... Not the case with dogs yet 80 proof seems to make some individuals think they're disposable toys. Boy, that aught to light a fire under PETA's, well, snout.

The store's manager used one example in particular noting “a couple once spent $3,500 on an English Bull Dog and a Miniature Pinscher on St. Patrick’s Day, but returned the dogs the next day and apologized.” The apology was delivered in the following fashion: “[We] were just having fun.” Oh that's really nice.

May there be an angry pit bull in your future that simply exonerated himself by saying, “I was just hungry... woof!”

(Image from NY Times)

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