The New Stuff

Hugh Hefner Engaged to 24-year-old Playmate

LOS ANGELES, Calif. ---- Playboy founder Hugh Hefner announced his engagement to his 24-year-old playmate girlfriend on Christmas Eve. The announcement came via Twitter as the world collectively retched at the thought of the upcoming noxious nuptials.

Hefner, 84, and married twice before says when he gave his girlfriend Crystal Harris the ring she burst into tears. Perhaps the thought of being married to a man older than Moses was too much for the young Harris.

Harris met Hefner on Halloween 2008 where we speculate, she was dressed as a young gold digger and he as father time. In December 2009 Harris was named Hefner’s playmate of the month.

Hefner’s first marriage to Mildred Williams ended in 1959 the couple had two children together. Marriage number 2 to Kimberley Conrad who was named Playmate of the Year in 1989 ended when the couple split in 1991. Their divorce was finalized in 2010, they have two sons together.

The Playboy founder recently did a little house cleaning when he kicked out his two former girlfriends Karissa and Kristina Shannon because the girls were bringing their boyfriends to the mansion which apparently was not cool with Hefner.

Hefner popped the question after screening Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp’s new flick, “The Tourist.”

"After the movie tonight, Crystal & I exchanged gifts. I gave Crystal a ring,"(a teething ring?) Hef tweeted "A truly memorable Christmas Eve."

Hefner did not say when the wedding would take place, however we here at think it will happen sometime between the arrival of his Social Security check and AARP membership renewal. The couple is said to be registered at Dead,Crass and Beyond.

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