The New Stuff

Cloudy With A Chance Of BS: Meteorologist Made Up Attack Story

Does the name Heidi Jones ring a bell? Yeah, sort of vague for me too. I'll just tell you. Jones is an on-air meteorologist who has worked for stations in Albany, New York and Houston, Texas and is currently part of New York City's local Channel 7 WABC morning team. She also occasionally fills in on ABC's national morning show, 'Good Morning America.' Okay, now that we have the accolades out of the way... let's get to why we're talking about her and it's quite a “strong front.”

It turns out Jones, according to the AP, “admitted Wednesday [that] she'd made up claims of being repeatedly attacked by a stranger on the city streets, allegations that sparked an extensive investigation before police said she told them she'd invented the story to get attention.” Really? So New York's recent crazy weather beatings wasn't enough? She wanted to lead people to believe she'd been pummeled with golf ball sized hail and fists?

Since her admittance, she has struck a plea bargain which calls for “three years' probation, continuing psychiatric counseling and 350 hours of community service — the amount of time police spent looking into her phony claims,” prosecutors said. Hmm... when it “rains it pours,” huh Jones? Oh well look who I'm talking to! Of course you know bad luck precipitation. Hehe

Her attorney, Paul F. Callan, said Jones wanted to express, "her deepest regret and her apologies for any inconvenience that was caused.” So what exactly did she say originally? Authorities report: “Jones, 38, told police Dec. 1 the same man attacked her while she was running in Central Park last September and again outside her Manhattan apartment in November.” Okay, cute tale... but why say that? According to court documents, Jones claimed “I made it up for attention. I have so much stress at work, with my personal life and with my family.” Sure I understand. Whenever I'm depressed, I usually call my friends and tell them I was just robbed at gun point. Really brings you back up, doesn't it?

Now let's take a look at Jones' 7-day outlook. Well it's certainly not picnic weather. Our Doppler radar detects gusty winds, continued street heckling, cloudy probation with a 100% chance of embarrassment. What a whirlwind! She's going to need more than ruby slippers to click her heels out of this forecast from hell.

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