The New Stuff

Brazilian Woman Legally Cleared To Masturbate At Work


Alright everybody... brace yourselves for this article. It can only be described as nothing less than amazing! Why? Well, I just can't seem to put my finger on it... or can I? According to AOL News, “a Brazilian judge has reportedly ruled that a 36-year-old female accountant can legally masturbate at work and watch porn on her work computer.” That's right! You read that correctly. Now, before you move to Brazil, listen to the details.

Apparently, Ana Catarian Bezerra successfully attested that she “suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality.” Am I the only one that thought we had already diagnosed and named these individuals? Sluts. She went on to argue that the only way for her work not to suffer is to frequently masturbate at her workstation.

Hey! Here's an idea. Why not join the wonderful world of porn and simply be called a workaholic? Check out one of her statements she made in court: "I got so bad I would to masturbate up to 47 times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal."

After her legal victory and court ordered professional help, Bezerra is legally entitled to mix work and play. So how is squirt doing since seeking medical help? “A medical cocktail of tranquilizers has reduced her need to masturbate to about 18 times a day.” And you wonder why her last boyfriend said he couldn't please her.

San Francisco based sexologist, Dr. Carol Queen, decided to look at this unique situation a little deeper: “This case is interesting because it shows the difference between Brazilian culture and the U.S. It's unlikely a workplace here would allow her the time to do that, even though practically everyone who has masturbated knows that it relieves tension.” Yeah... so does punching a dumb-ass. But we don't get time for that.

Ironically, the judge's “ruling came in the middle of 'National Masturbation Month,' which Queen helped organize back in 1995 and is now celebrated in pockets all over the world.” (...celebrated in pockets... hehe)

With Bezerra's new found freedom, I imagine you'd have to be more specific when you ask her what time she gets off? Either way, no matter how many promotions Bezerra gets, it appears her career will always be up and coming.

(Image from Hotona)

Recently Published

a20fddb2cf964258b99310acbe3398cf-80fb17993f36ad19cc861b052d2603c8ba4956a7
»

Warren Buffett and Donald Trump get into a billionaires' brawl over tax returns

Is this how billionaires fight?  Warren Buffett, the revered ...

Samsung Galaxy Note 7 is classy
»

Forget Touch ID, you can unlock the Galaxy Note 7 with your eyes

Samsung just launched the latest addition to their smartphone lineup, ...

429d38cf607c43eca1d37aed5759eb8e-005436dfd1c56bdcc0ef7c64726643d7132a2e1a
»

Jimmy Fallon named as next Golden Globes host

BEVERLY HILLS, California — Jimmy Fallon has been tapped to ...

NFL_Snapchat_322-50bc2eda923f3c1498b52590c3a645e100a19724
»

The NFL — and football highlights — are coming to Snapchat Discover

Are you ready for some football (in Snapchat Discover)? Snapchat and ...

browniepan-7d5fe6899c1b9db3e416d8b9aaefcc537d7b9079
»

Restaurant revolutionizes the way brownies are sold

Not all brownies are created equal. There are many variables that ...

https---blueprint-api-production.s3.amazonaws.com-uploads-card-image-131488-AP_16181711733011
»

The Academy just took a huge step toward ending #OscarsSoWhite

LOS ANGELES — For all the grief the Academy of Motion Picture ...

G. Star Swain Sings
»

Tourist's national anthem performance astounds onlookers at Lincoln Memorial

[embedded content] Take note, would-be pop stars: this is how you ...

card-image-131157-FB_media
»

Baby pics > news hits: Facebook loves 'friends and family,' cools on media

Another day, another chapter in Facebook's love/hate relationship ...

Lady Gaga and 48 more celebs honor Orlando victims in video by Ryan Murphy
»

Lady Gaga and 48 more celebs honor Orlando victims in video by Ryan Murphy

[embedded content] Ryan Murphy can bring together star power like ...