The New Stuff

Better Drink Before You Leave: No More Street Water


So, citizens of Las Vegas… How many times would you say you use the sidewalk on the Strip? (When rereading the opening statement to this article, I now realize it was redolent of an Alien takeover attack… Sorry to worry you.) But there was some logic if you connect the dots. It turns out the vendors on the sidewalk who bamboozle pedestrians for cash are liked just about as much as Martians. You see earthlings… It tied together.

ABC local Vegas affiliate 13 Action News broadcast a report earlier today regarding a possible ordinance to stop these sales. By mid-day, the motion passed. Clark County Commissioners have released the following details:

“The ordinance does not stop individuals from passing out flyers or cards, and does not apply to street performers.”

“The ordinance applies to vendors selling anything on the Strip- such as sunglasses or water bottles.”

The LV Sun looked at the ordinance in depth reporting, “By unanimous vote, commissioners said no more peddling on the public right-of-way, which includes sidewalks on the Strip. Water peddlers and others who ask to be paid for a service will be banned.”

So why did they come to this conclusion? Did they do any research? How about spending to the tune of $581,000 to study pedestrian traffic? I know, right?! What the hell does that even mean? “Study pedestrian traffic?” I assume that means to watch and observe. Why is this ringing a bell? Oh yeah… that’s humans’ favorite pastime. “People watching!” And last time I checked… it was free! Unless they spent half a million on a park bench to conduct the staring study… somebody has some explaining to do.

Ready for the biggest joke? “Commissioners made the activity a misdemeanor!” Yeah… because if there’s one guy who’ll be ready, willing, able, and eager to pay that Sin City fine, it’s a guy who is trying to make a buck selling water on the street. Let’s file this ordinance under “Give me a f**king break” right next to the law making it illegal to drive a camel on the highway in Nevada. Were there really too many ‘humps’ trying to merge before that passed?

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