The New Stuff

2010 Was A Tumultuous Jest: Thanks People


With only a few days left in the year, it's safe to say as we look back, 2010 consisted of a battery of buffoons publicly embarrassing themselves. So that stated, I'd like to take a moment to reflect on some of my pics due to the asinine antics and sophomoric mishaps the following people made all for – as far as I can see – our enjoyment.

Mel Gibson kept us laughing for most of the year with his very public rancorous separation/divorce/lawsuit/child custody battle with Oksana Grigorieva. And just when we thought that the “Passion of the Christ” was finally over... another incriminating audio tape resurrected. I don't care what his resume says, after listening to those scripts of rude hysteria, I think it's apparent this star does not know “What Women Want.”

Steven Slater will go down in history (and in bed, according to his boyfriend) for being the peanut pushing flight attendant that won't take any sh*t from rowdy passengers. For those of you who forgot his famous quote, it goes like this: Ehem... “To the fu**ing a**hole who told me to f**k off, it's been a good 28 years. I've had it. That's it.” He then proceeded to grab two Blue Ribbon beers, pop the tops, take a sip, and plunge down the emergency inflatable slide exit of the JetBlue airline. In a word, classic!

Tiger Woods made a horny splash in media this year that made an ancient Roman orgy look tame. The official mistress count was never really pinpointed because, let's face it, who the hell really knows? What we do know is that it's somewhere around the 20 count. Wow... with all those strokes, he still has a great score. All that I know is that I'm not one to condone cheating on your spouse, but if you're a few flings short of being able to turn them into playing cards for a nice game of Pinochle, that's a hole-in-one my friend.

Paris Hilton has got to be the most disappointing heiress in history. This year she got some “lines” in the news after using her hot hotel bucks for cocaine while traveling in an SUV in Las Vegas driven by then stoned boyfriend, Cy Waits. But wait, it get's better. She was released and escorted back to the hotel by an officer. She asked the officer to stop so she could brush her hair or some crap... and when she reached in her purse, a little white baggy of nose candy fell out which she later claimed she thought was gum. Well, that excuse “blows.”

Sarah Palin; what would our late night talk show hosts talk about if it weren't for you and your crazy uninformed ideas. Whether she was claiming to be able to see Russia from her house, making up words, or pushing her daughter to do the husky tango, she never failed to amuse. And since she's famous for not going away, be sure to catch an episode of “Sarah Palin's Alaska” on TLC. Well, goes to show you how much sh*t that network had on the shelf.

Christine O'Donnell is our second female politician who can confidently be described as insane. I thought it was pretty ironic she was a leading member of the Tea Party. Who wants to party with somebody that doesn't believe in masturbation or paying taxes and dabbles in witchcraft? Well, besides Delaware.

Now don't worry, you can “exhale.” I'm giving Miley Cyrus a smokin' honorable mention for her best performance yet: Bong-a-licious. At least the video answered two questions for us: (A) The reason for her annoying raspy manly voice, and (B) Even stoned, she doesn't shut up.

This year has been a funny one indeed. And thank God for these fleeting moments that we could forget about our troubles and economic floundering long enough to chuckle at the expense of others. Isn't that what the holiday season is really all about? So I say thank you to all our favorite dolts, celebrities, and politicians who were selfless enough to mortify themselves for the greater good. On behalf of everyone with a sense of humor, thanks for giving back!

(Image from Huffington Post)

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